Healing Wounds

Good morning, everyone! I wanted to touch base with all of you on where I am at here in my healing journey.

I have taken every test under the sun…"diagnosed" with gastritis, hiatal hernia, and gut microbiome imbalance (possibly dysbiosis). I have reached out in every way possible to every single avenue of healing you can think of. Western medicine (for the testing), Ayurveda, Naturopathic, Reiki, Flower Essence, Western Herbal Medicine, meditation, Shamanic Healing, Sonic Healing (through tuning forks), medical mediums, and lastly (but the most important one) my own mind through Positive Active Transformation Thought Process.

It has taken me an extensive amount of, time, determination, will power, prayer, education, love, support, and plants 🌱 to get to where I am at now. People say, “I am sorry you were sick” and in my mind I think “sick” is an understatement. I believed I was on my death bed. I was purging tears 24/7 while wasting away. I was gray in the face and my loved ones were genuinely concerned for me.

I believed death was truly knocking at my door. This made me have a little different outlook on life. I was holding onto my cherubs hugs a little longer, being present and in the moment. Not worrying about our next meet up with friends, the next doctor apt, teaching or learning about herbalism, making my mark on this world…all I wanted to do was sit in my gardens with the kids and watch them enjoy life while my husband wrapped his arms around me. I was facing the idea of “what if this is really it for me?” I got to the point in this all where I no longer feared death, I feared living in pain forever.

Life is so precious. I know we hear this all the time. But to FEEL those words is another. The smell of the flowers (shout out to my roses and lemon balm for getting me through my darkest of days), the sounds of the birds, my children giggling, the warmth of the sun kissing my face, and the comfort, support, strength, and compassion from my husband, are the things that matter most to me. Becoming ill put me in a position of really being grateful for what I have in my life. They are simple things, but it’s what is most dear to my heart. What a lesson there was for me to learn during my darkest hour.

My dreams of impacting my world/ community still ring true. I will always have a passion for learning and teaching children. I believe that this healing journey has brought me closer to another dream of mine...to become a Healer. To step into this role truly and confidently. I don’t think someone can be healed by one person; I think it takes a tribe. I read somewhere that “You don’t go to healers to be healed. A healer is someone who awakens your own consciousness in you, to heal yourself.” There are many avenues of healing, and not one way will fix all your problems. Finding your tribe is key to healing. Having a tribe of healers will help you unlock your highest potential in healing. To me, this has been the key to my success.

As you all know, I become sick shortly after I put my home on the market. I wanted to move for so many different reasons, but the universe has another plan for me. I tried relentlessly to find a home. I gave it everything I had. Even though I was so hopeful, there was a tiny voice that whispered in the depths on my consciousness… “now is not the time.” I tested destiny, I tested it with all my willpower. I have never not gotten something I wanted…except for this time. So many signs from the universe trying to get my attention. I even balloons sent from my mother, hummingbirds, contracts being terminated, etc. I just kept turning my head being completely stubborn to what was in front of me. Finally, Saturday night I was in the worst pain of my life. I cried hopelessly on the couch holding my head in my hands. As I laid down for the night, I asked spirit to come forth in my dreams to guide me, to help me understand why my prayers of healing were not being answered.

I woke up at 6:00 AM understanding the message. In my dream I was on the phone with my realtor. The words rolled off my tongue “Take our home off the market. It isn’t time yet.” I then awoke from my dreams but still half asleep I heard a voice say to me, “You stay put, and your prayers will be answered.” I said out loud “Deal.” It was at this moment I realized what I had to do next and why. I understand now that my time in Bethel isn’t over. As much as I want and dream of living off 10 acres of land, gardening, homesteading and being together with my family, I realize and trust those days will eventually come, just not yet. So, I made a deal with the universe to fulfill why I came back to this specific place in the world. A star seed destined to be a part of the grand shift in consciousness & to play my part in raising the vibrations here within my community. After I made this deal, I have seen a huge impact on my health. Not being in pain every single second of the day is a big milestone. I feel more in tune with my surroundings and find myself more at peace.

Thank you for taking the time to get caught up on my healing journey and being a part of my tribe.